DOLCE

Ginger Snap

You can meet the coolest guys in the silliest situations. Not only can pure embarrassment result in a funny story, but sometimes it can lead to a date. Here’s my story.

Meet Jordan. 25, a male nurse, and a hopeless romantic.

Jordan and I met at a “rubik's cube” party. AKA You wear all different colored articles of clothing and trade pieces with others until you become one color. While I was 6 shots deep in a bottle of Svedka, Jordan showed up (not dressed for the theme). At that time I decided I wanted to be the color blue and demanded that he gave me his blue sweater immediately. Lucky him got to wear my green tube top. After the clothes swap we started to chat and discovered that we didn’t only have the same friends, but a ton of things in common.

A few hours later he offered to drive me and my girlfriends home since he wasn’t drinking. I began to pile my drunk friends into the back of his truck but Gabanna wasn’t having it.

“Gabanna; Jordan is sober and he’s driving us all home, get in the car” I said to her.

“No! I need to give him a sobriety test! Touch your finger to your nose and then say your ABC’s backwards!"

Jordan kindly followed her commands.

“Now you need to do the chicken dance!”

“But, I don’t know the chicken dance.”

“WHAT?! WHO DOESN’T KNOW THE CHICKEN DANCE?! DO IT NOW!!”

Jordan started to hop up and down on one leg and flap his arms up and down. I rolled my eyes and threw Gabanna into the back of his truck. Amber, Kim, and Hailey were already passed out in the backseat until Jordan pulled out of the driveway.

“Where are we going?! OH MY GOD WE ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED!!” Hailey screamed.

“No, calm down! Jordan is driving us home.”

Hailey's panic attack woke up the others. The car ride then turned into a game of "Twenty Questions." All I kept thinking was, “yup, definitely not hearing from this guy after tonight.” 

...At least no one puked in his truck.

After he pulled up to my house and the girls stumbled to my front door, Jordan got my phone number. As I leaned in to say goodbye (the guy put up with all my friends, I owed him a kiss) he gave me his cheek and said goodnight. So not only was I embarrassed, I was also rejected. Great.

The next day I got a text from him telling me he had a great time last night and requesting that we should do something soon. As shocked as I was, I invited him out to join me and my more sober friends for wing night. At the end of that less embarrassing night, he kissed me. 

"Why didn't you kiss me the other night when I leaned in?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to wait for the perfect moment...and I wanted to see you again."

Jordan was just what I needed. He was sweet, generous, lived on his own, had a great job at the hospital…what could I possibly be worried about? 

Well there was one thing that made me nervous…he was a ginger.

His hair was so short that you could hardly tell, but there was one thought deep in my mind that I’m sure all your dirty minds have already thought of. Does the carpet match the drapes? Well, I didn’t want to rush and find out. I also thought if I liked him a lot I wouldn’t care so much if it did match (fingers crossed).

Breakfast for Four

He took me out to breakfast one morning to a place that was known for their mimosas. Who was I to decline a free meal and alcohol for breakfast, really? As the hostess walked us to our table I sat down only to realize that Seth’s (army guy’s) mom and boyfriend were at the table next to us. And when I say next to us I mean like a foot away. There’s nothing more awkward then seeing your old guy’s parents while on a date with the new guy. I could feel her eyes on me but after the waiter took our order I couldn’t hide behind my menu any longer.

How to Avoid this Awkward Scenario.

If you run into an ex, their friends, or their mom: here are a couple of tips.

          - Living well is the best revenge; look and act confident. Your smile, posture, and appearance are key.

-         - If you make eye contact, smile and say hello. Be the better person. Even just acknowledging them with a smile makes you look mature.

-         - Act as if you’re having the best time. Everything Jordan was saying to me came off like it was funny or sweet. But, don’t overdue it. You don’t want it to come off like you're trying.

-         - Body language means everything. Jordan and I holding hands at the table reads: I moved on.

-         -  Finally, if you made eye contact in the beginning don’t keep looking over at them. It shows that you want them to pay attention to you/you’re trying to make them pay attention to you.

Well what I did must have worked because in the corner of my eye I saw his mom leap up from her table and run to the bathroom. The woman was gone for a good amount of time. I had a feeling word traveled right to the source that I was moved on.

Monogamy or Idiocracy?

Jordan and I started seeing more and more of each other. We ran errands together, he took me out to dinner with his roommates, I met his mom, and I started to sleep over weekly. I even had my own pair of sweats to sleep in.

Could this be the end of my 7 boyfriends, my waking up on roofs after fleet week, my British fetish? Well, you’ll just have to wait and find out.

Moral of the Story:

Things always happen when you least expect it.