DOLCE

The Creepy Old Guy

Ever date someone and just know there’s no spark? Most of you have had this happen and thought, “they’re cool, but we’d be better off as friends.” Sometimes it’s not that easy to just switch over to the friend zone. Here’s my story.

With college loans not paying themselves, I have to waitress nights at a restaurant. One slow night at work I got sat with these two guys. They were funny and pretty cute compared to the usual guys that come in. I decided to sit with them in the booth and chat since they were my last table. Twenty minutes later I had a 50% tip and a phone number.

Meet Joel. He was 28, a “mechanical engineer” and very into cars (as am I).

He waited the “3 days” (golden guy rule) to text me after the night we met. We began to text back and forth and I soon agreed to a date with him that Sunday. He was a little shy but sweet, worked 6 days a week, and had a boat.

That Sunday I met him at the local airport where there was a big car show. Since he knew I loved cars too, he thought it’d be appropriate for our first date. I pulled up to the gate in my truck and realized he already paid for me.

Your Car or Mine?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t he pick you up?

Ladies, when you don’t know someone too well and it’s a first date, it’s smart to take your own means of transportation. If the guy is a creep or a total nerd you can’t exactly turn to him and say “hell no, take me home.” Just in case the date is failing you can always make up an excuse or have your girlfriend call you with a “dire emergency” to get you out of there. Therefore, I decided on this date to take my truck. Not only was it because it was a first date, but I was 30 minutes from my house.

The car-show was fun. We walked around and talked mostly about cars until he eventually started to open up. Turns out this guy wasn’t exactly who I thought he was. You can be the judge, but I wasn’t too impressed.

-       He went to school for mechanical engineering: AKA He went to a community college for a year and a half until he dropped out. 

-       He lived in a nice house next to the beach: AKA He lived with his parents (yup, he’s 28) and his house wasn’t exactly ocean front.

 -       He worked 6 days a week as an engineer: He worked 6 days a week for a landscape company fixing lawnmowers.

 -       He’s always had a job: AKA He’s worked at this landscape company since he was 16 and was comfortable where he was…or too lazy?

He still seemed like a sweet guy, but not one part of me imagined to take my shirt off for him. Don’t judge me, when you find someone sexy you all fantasize. Anyway, with that, his white lies, and his love of country music I knew it wasn’t going to work out. However, his personality and interests made me think he’d be a perfect fit for my friend Amber. I made a mental note to hook them up later on after I denied the second date.

With the sun setting I gave him a hug goodbye and got into my truck to leave.

“Wait! I have something for you!” Joel said.

With that, he pulls out 6 oversized t-shirts.

“I mean, I remember in a text that you said you liked to sleep in big t-shirts so I brought you some from work.” For the first time I came home with presents on a first date; it was odd yet thoughtful.

A couple days after the date I felt bad about breaking things off, but I knew I wasn’t interested. I started to be short with him via text and thought he’d get the hint. Well he did and told me he was disappointed because he thought we had something. I mean the only thing I had was 6 more shirts to wear to bed.

“Hey I’m sorry, I should’ve been more upfront with you. I’m kind of involved with someone else right now; it’s complicated (which was stretching the truth a little, but hey, what he doesn’t know won’t kill him). Not to mention with my job and yours, we wouldn’t have a lot of time to see each other. However, you are a really nice guy and this may come off really strange, but I have a friend that I think you’d hit it off with.”

Well he wasn’t too interested in my friend but asked to stay friends because he thought I was a really “cool girl” and wanted to chat occasionally. I agreed and left it at that. That was until his definition of “friends” was to text me “hey so how’s your complicated situation, hopefully its not working out for my sake ;)” and “wish you came out on my boat today, could’ve used a hottie with me ;)” and my favorite: “I got rid of the farmers tan today if that helps any ;)”

Well let’s just say I stopped responding…even after I got the “Friends? Or am I just the creepy old guy?” He still continues to try to get in touch with me and asking when we can hang out again “winky face.” Glad he never agreed to date my friend but next time I know never to date the guy who leaves me his number while I’m waitressing.

Moral of the story:

- It's not easy to be friends with a guy that's still interested in you. If he likes you, he's always going to want more.

- Don't settle. If you know you're not interested, don't keep talking to him and get his hopes up.

- White lies are lies.

- Recommending your friends to guys you've dated doesn't really work out.

- Don't beat around the bush like I did. If you don't like them, let them know so they're not caught off guard. But don't be surprised if they keep trying.