DOLCE

Sucker Punch

Want to know if your guys a keeper? See if he’ll stay even in the stickiest situations.

I met JP over the summer and I kept him around as my escape from army boy, Seth (and we all know how that ended).  JP was fun but not what you’d call “boyfriend material.”

Seth didn’t do anything special for my birthday while I was down visiting him in Georgia. I was bummed out until I got the most exciting news from JP…we were going to the zoo.

Gabanna and I packed up our bags (knowing the essentials to be smuggled into the Naval Academy) and jumped in the car. We always had a good time with JP and Jeremy, and a double date to the zoo was the best way to celebrate my birthday. That was until Jeremy bailed out. Turns out studying for finals is more important than seeing lions, tigers, and bears OH MY! He seriously had his priorities out of whack.

Gabanna and I packed a flask and JP drove us to the animal kingdom.

“Are you guys seriously pre-gaming for the zoo?” JP questioned.

“Oh no! Well maybe…ok yes, yes we are.” I mean it was my birthday, cut me some slack.

It was if we were 3 five year olds seeing a polar bear for the first time. We missed out on seeing the tigers but we managed to cover most of the zoo in 2 hours and soaked up every second of it.

JP had the rest of the day planned out. After the zoo he took us to a sushi place knowing my love of raw fish and saki bombs. Then we went to the park where we insisted to be pushed on the swings. Lastly, we ended up at the marina to watch the sunset over the water. It was a perfect day with my two favorite people. However, the night was just beginning.

Fight Night.

While Jeremy and JP were playing flag football, Gabanna and I decided to scope out our next victims while killing an entire bottle of sweet tea vodka. Damn that stuff goes down fast. When JP found us we were in no condition to go out but he didn’t care. We were going to the bar and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Five minutes later we were piled in his friend’s truck on our way to “dollar beer night," joy.

I enjoyed my dollar beer with the guys while Gabanna was getting friendly with the other guys at the opposite side of the bar. 

We aren’t rude girls. If a guy offers to buy us a drink and we accept, we will hold a good 5-minute conversation with them before we lose interest and walk away. You got to be polite and let the guy talk himself up for 5 minutes. You're accepting the drink, it's the least you can do. What’s more important: losing 5 minutes or losing $5?

Well Gabanna followed the rule and after 5 minutes she came back to our table before we decided to make a break for the bathroom. After we re-applied lip-gloss and tried to stand up straight we opened the door and nearly got punched in the face. It was like a scene out of “The Outsiders.” The greasers and the socials were in a full out brawl and our guys (the socials) didn’t stand a chance. The bartender leaped across the bar trying to pry the greasers off of JP while screaming “girls, get out now! Run!”

Gabanna bolted for the door but I decided to take one for the team and grab all of the guys stuff and a few napkins on my way out of the warzone. As soon as JP and friends escaped I blotted their faces and handed them their hat and jackets.

“Dolce, this isn’t our stuff!”

“Wait, if it’s not yours it must be…”

“Go! Go! Go!”

The greasers came running out of the bar in rage. They must have realized the blonde klepto took all of their stuff...hey, it was by accident.

I naturally got thrown into the trunk of the Ford Explorer as Gabanna and the 5 other guys piled into the getaway car. As we peeled out of the parking lot I waved “bye-bye” watching the greasers chase after the car for a good 2 minutes. At least I got a cool hat out of it.

Wait, What Happened?!

Turns out after Gabanna made friendly conversation with the greasers, they somehow thought that we were “their girls” and didn’t want any competition with the guys we ACTUALLY showed up with. I honestly think they just wanted to fight someone and our preppy guys didn’t look hard to knock out. I don’t blame them.

JP didn’t talk to me the rest of the night. I never thought I could have so much room on a twin size mattress with a 6’ 2” guy next to me.

The next morning JP went on for 10 minutes about this so claimed “bruise” on his face (there was nothing there) and how everyone is going to notice. He didn’t find it funny when I offered to give him my concealer. I said I was sorry but he thought the whole brawl was intentional. Yea bro, you gave me a great birthday and as a thank you I got you punched in the face. Really? Intentional?!

Gabanna and I felt more awkward this time around leaving the Naval Academy than the time we walked in on formation in oversized t-shirts during a fire drill. JP and I ended things after that. Turns out he couldn’t take a punch.

Moral of the Story:

- Don’t judge a guy off one date. Yes the day was planned out perfectly but as soon as night rolled around things got dark, literally.

- Gabanna and I were in no shape or form to go out after the flag football game but JP’s selfishness didn’t care.

- If a guy can’t stand up for you and take a hit, he’s not worth it.

- If a guy gets his ass kicked, he might as well own up to it. JP decided to bitch and blame it on me.

- When you do get your ass kicked, don’t cry about it. It was embarrassing watching it, don’t make it worse by complaining about it.

GABANNA

I Know You Want Me to Want You, I Want To

I’ve became friends with Markie during freshman year of college. We had classes together every semester, and he was also on the baseball team with my ex Chris. My first memory of him is saying this to Chris: “I have class with Gabanna, and it’s awesome because all I do is sit back and stare at her the whole time.” I laughed when Chris told me, and thought nothing of it since I knew Markie was in a serious relationship with a girl back home.

Since we literally had almost every class together, we would always study together or be partners for projects. I always went to the baseball games and we were always at the same parties since we had the same group of friends. I thought he was baby-cute and never really thought about dating him. 

Fast forward to junior year

We were both single, and still hanging out all the time. One night he brought his sister to a baseball party to celebrate their big win. The entire night I tried to convince him to come to the bars after, and he kept insisting that he couldn’t leave his sister and had to take her home. (what a gentleman) Now, I wasn’t looking to hook-up with him. No, seriously people! I just wanted him to come party with us since all of my friends were coupled up and I needed a buddy (not a make-out one, a drinking one). Unbeknownst to me, one of my guy friends took it upon himself to tell Markie that I wanted him to come to the bar so we could be more than drinking buddies, and he actually showed up. Drunken me was so proud that I convinced him to come, when he only showed up under false pretenses. Rats!

We drank and danced and hung out with our friends all night, and at one point I looked over to my friends and saw that everyone was making out. The next thing I know I’m being backed into a corner and Markie’s lips were on mine. Clearly I wasn’t going to say no, and we continued to hook-up the rest of the night. We eventually walked back to campus with some friends, and he actually picked me up at one point and carried me back to my dorm. After kissing me goodnight he left and went back to his own room and I went to bed.

For the rest of the semester we continued to hang out and hookup, but usually just when we were out. I was also hooking-up with one of the other guys on the baseball team, which he didn’t know about. 

Fast forward to the last night of fall semester

Last night of the semester. Celebrating my last final. Two for one drinks. Pregamed hard. I don’t need to tell you what condition I was in, but I was drunk enough to make out in public with Markie, which I usually didn’t do. Little did I know the other girl he was hooking-up with (who knew about me while I had no idea about her) was watching us and apparently stormed out of the bar. If Markie knew this, he didn’t let on and together we closed the bar and I walked home with him and another one of my friends Kathy. The three of us linked arms and I allowed myself to be taken back to his dorm where Kathy also lived. We entered the lobby and all of the sudden heard “MARKIE! WTF?!” 


Apparently he had ditched the other girl for me and she was clearly pissed. As they argued I whispered goodbye to Kathy and quietly snuck out, which really means that I stumbled through the lobby and crashed into the door and staggered my way back toward my dorm. Within minutes he was calling me telling me to “slow down,” since he had followed me out. He began apologizing to me as he half carried me back to my room. I remember telling him that I didn’t care, (which I really didn’t since I was with the other guy), and introducing him to my furniture. 

“This is Melanie’s desk and this is Melanie’s bed and this is my desk and this is my be-“ Apparently he didn’t care to meet the rest of my room because his lips cut me off. After a few minutes of kissing my body began to reject all of the drinking I had done and I kicked him out with promises of texting him in the morning. Once I regained consciousness the next morning I checked my messages to see that he had texted me apologizing again for not telling me about the other girl and hoping that we could pick up where we left off once we got back from break. 

I once again reassured him that I did not care he was seeing that other girl and that we could pick up where we left off. We talked throughout break and he received a few drunken phone calls from me (lucky guy, I’m known for my great phone calls). 

Back to school

Once we arrived back for spring semester we pretty much picked up where we left off. The other girl he was with graduated, but I was still hooking-up with the other guy from fall semester. He eventually found out, and got pretty upset about it and found comfort in one of my friends. 

Markie and my friend became a couple, and although he gave me the cold shoulder for a while he eventually forgave me and we were able to stay friends. They dated through all of spring semester and broke up soon after going home for summer. 

Fast forward through fall of senior year and into beginning of spring semester

Markie was single, I was single. We were both crazy busy with student teaching and talked constantly about projects and lesson plans. Unfortunately for us, our student teaching schedules were the opposite of our college vacation schedules. March brought spring break for Dolce and all of our friends while we were stuck in the snow for a week. Every day we would go to our (different) schools then come home and go make dinner together, or watch Anchorman, or color and work on lesson plans, and then he would take me home. We never kissed, I pinky promise. 

Until Friday of that week. He made me pancakes for dinner, and even showed off his cooking skills by flipping it and catching it behind his back. Very impressive. We naturally headed off to happy hour, where we sat at the bar and made up stories about people and got very, very drunk. Once the drink special ended, we headed back to my house because I needed a hoodie before we had to meet up with some of his friends. He immediately curled up in my bed with my teddy bear, and told me that he was going to take it from me. I naturally panicked and began fighting him for it, which led to us kissing. What wrestle match doesn’t end in kissing? Seriously! 

After that we continued to hook-up for another month or so, and I eventually found out that he was seeing another girl, and supposedly they were pretty serious. 

Once again, I did not care that he was with someone else because I never really thought of him as more than a hook-up buddy. Of course I liked him; I considered him to be one of my closest friends but I never actually wanted to date the kid. After a while we finally stopped hooking up and he became official with the other girl he was seeing. I was happy for him because he deserved to be with someone who actually wanted what he wanted, even though he probably would have given it up if I said that I wanted to be with him.

Moral of the Story:

-Don’t stay with someone just because it’s comfortable, you could be missing out on something you really want

-There’s no such thing as a hookup with no strings attached. Even though I didn’t feel anything for Markie, he like me and was hurt when he found out that I was with someone else.