GABANNA

Pick Me Up!

Want to learn how to approach a girl? Here’s a few of the best and worst pickup lines Dolce and I have encountered through our online dating experience.

After Dolce’s breakup this summer with Ryan one of her friends Kim encouraged her to join an online dating site. She promised that it was totally normal and not creepy at all. (Pretty normal, veryyyy creepy). Naturally I arrived at her house to go to the beach and I had an account all set up for me. What are friends for?

Now, neither of us are really serious about meeting someone online but we did it for the experience and for meeting new people. And for the compliments (what, you don’t love an ego boost?)

There are a few things that I’ve noticed from my inbox. Everyone always says “Hey you’re really cute and I love your profile.”

Okay, that’s great and all, but what do you like about it? Is it my love of Anchorman? The fact that I want you to message me if you will give me a piggy back ride? Tell me what you like so I know you weren’t just staring at my pictures like a creeper.

Grab my attention

The best pickup line happened when I was a sophomore. I was at the bar with my old roommate and one guy approached me and asked, “Should I get my haircut like Vanilla Ice’s?”

I kid you not people. After staring at him for a few seconds I started talking to him about his potential new haircut. We discussed the pros and cons, and ended up talking for half an hour about other things besides his new haircut.

My point is, don’t just come up and offer me a drink. Chances are I’m going to take it and walk away because you can’t hold my attention long enough for me to stick around.

Ask me something intriguing. Don’t tell me I look hot. You’ve said that to a million girls already. Be original.
 

Interesting/fun pick-up lines:

“Did you fall from heaven…because you have a great ass.” -I found this really amusing.

“You look like Spice Girl.” -It better not be Scary Spice dude.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, and I wanna get you pregnant.”- Thank you Jenna Marbles.

Even just a great compliment works.

The key to these pickup lines was that they made me laugh and have a conversation with the guy who was trying to pick me up.

Not so good pick-up lines:

“I was wiffle-ball champion once, no big deal”- Don’t care dude. Ask me about myself.

“Girllll, you should sell hot dogs, dayummmm” – Wtf does that even mean!?

“I had a sex dream about you last night.”- Awkward turtle.

“How are you so hot? And who is your friend- my god!”- No way dude. No threesomes for you.

If you want to meet a classy girl DO NOT ask them these things:

“Spit or swallow?”

“I want to lick your p****”

Now I know what you’re thinking- REALLY?!

Yes really. I did receive these lovely messages and after replying with some sarcastic and witty comments I wondered what it is about myself that made these people message me that.

And I came up with this: they’re douche bags. If a random person said that to you and you have any self-respect at all you will either be a total bitch back or throw your drink in his face. Either option is perfectly acceptable. If this had happened to me in person I totally would’ve poured a drink on them.

Respect us.

Of course we like to go out and have fun, but seriously guys, think with your head and not your dick. Not every girl at the bar is DTF.

So remember: when you’re looking to meet a classy girl, show her that you’re interested. If you try to buy her attention you’ll end up with nothing but an empty wallet and your right hand. 

DOLCE

Pretty vs. Hot

Not gonna lie, when a guy tells me I’m hot I feel pretty damn good. However, when you hear it over and over you start thinking: “do I look like a stripper?” Maybe that’s just me, but sometimes I want to know if the guy actually thinks I'm hot. (Not the pound of makeup and hoochie outfit I'm wearing while partying.)

When I’m out at the bar I’m not expecting to have a guy come up to me and tell me I’m beautiful, but when you’ve been seeing someone you want to know if they’re actually physically attracted to you. Now, you may be telling yourself “I’m not shallow,” but physical attraction is the first thing you notice when you’re checking someone out. We can look at a person and know within 2 seconds if we think they are attractive or not. 

So why does it matter if we’re pretty or hot?

“Pretty” says they actually mean it.

“Hot” basically says that they just want to eff you.

“Beautiful” is the ultimate word; it is the gold medal of compliments. When do you ever hear “you’re beautiful” when it’s not coming from a relative? (And we all know that they have to say that, it’s their job) 

And girls, guys are extremely insecure! Obviously we don’t think they are because we don’t hear them complaining that their t-shirt is too loose or their hair is frizzing. I’ve noticed that when I’m with my guy friends they’re constantly asking “what looks better?” before going out with a girl. So instead of keeping it to yourself...if you “see something, say something.” Tell a guy that he looks good; it’s a total confidence boost. 

Story Time:

I saw a picture of one of the guys I was seeing up on Facebook and for once it was not a picture of him wasted or playing the drums. He looked really cute, so I decided to be ballsy and texted him.

“Hey, I saw that picture of you pop up on my newsfeed and you look really good.” Thoughtful, sweet, and a confidence boost. On my part it was perfect. He, however, had to be an asshole about it. His response was “just good? I mean I know I look good but that’s it?” 

If a guy says that to you, do NOT, I repeat do NOT go to his level and give him what he wants. Make him appreciate the fact that you just gave him a random compliment in the first place. So I flat out told him. 

“Looking good says I actually mean it. Hot says I just want to eff you. And since I’ve already seen the merchandise, I figured I'd be nice. You’re welcome”

Maybe it was bitchy of me, but you should never expect to be told you’re hot shit. You can live it up, just be appreciative. 

Moral of the story:

* Girls- Don’t be afraid to tell a guy he looks good.

* Guys- Think twice about the message you want to send before you give out a “so-called” compliment.

* Be appreciative when it happens to you, because they’re pretty damn ballsy for saying something in the first place.