DOLCE

You were in Love? I Don't Care

The past makes us who we are; we make mistakes and we learn from them. However, it is not always smart to bring the past into the present...especially on a date.

Meet Jay: 21, hot hot hot, and worked as a chef.

He was witty, sarcastic, funny and just what I needed at the time. I was still talking to Seth, but his "I don't like to share" attitude had me wanting to rebel...and Jay was the perfect escape. It turns out Jay was very impressed with my knowledge of trucks and got my number as soon as he found out I was into drummers. (He loved to "jam" as he put it). We texted here and there and it wasn't too long (24 hours) until he asked me out.

Jay and I went to the park to get to know each other. You know how making conversation with some people is like pulling teeth? With Jay there wasn't a moment of silence...but a moment might have been nice. He started talking about his past relationship. Sure it’s ok to have the quick discussion of what you've been through, but it’s important not to dwell on the past because you don't want to freak the other person out.

For example:
Me- "Yeah, so I was in a 5 year relationship” (usually I get the "oh my god!" response.) He's 24 now and never tried to get a job or go to school. I just got tired of waiting for him to become someone and moved on." Quick, simple, honest, and good reasoning on my part.

Jay on the other hand had a different story.

Jay- "I was with my ex for a while and everything was going great but we realized we met each other too soon. So we decided to break up and meet other people so we don’t regret it later on in life. However, we plan on getting back together in a couple years. We are in love and want to get married…we just can’t do it now because people will think we’re stupid.

WHAT?! Just as I thought, he was too good to be true.

…And if that wasn’t enough to freak me out he continued.

“But if me and you work out I don’t want you to be threatened by her. I want to give us a chance but I want you to know my situation with her.” (Reminding you this is a first date.)

Not only was I weirded out by his future plans with his ex, but the fact that he was already considering us becoming an item. (Dude, relax, I just met you.)

Blunt Dolce came out at that point. I wasn't sure if I was more angry with the fact that he told me his “happy ending scheme” or that he actually believed that B.S. Boys and girls, if you actually believe that life works out that perfectly, you're in for a rude awakening. Believe me, I grew up watching the Disney movies and was all for fairy tales until I realized it doesn't work that way.

The thing that Jay didn't realize was that when you plan out your future like that, you never open yourself up to meet new people. And what I predicted (which eventually came true, thank you very much) was that his ex was going to go out and meet new people and eventually forget all about this promise with Jay. Your first love is someone you'll never forget. But when you fall in love a second time you fall a lot harder. All it does is suck for the other person in this "promise" that hasn't found anyone else yet.

You need to take everything day by day. It's good to plan the future but you never know what's going to happen and who you are going to meet. Things change whether we like it or not. I think back to my 5-year relationship when I wore a promise ring and had a wedding song picked out and how that didn't happen. As much as I miss it, I'm finally living and accepted change.

I’m not trying to be a cynical bitch here, but it’s rare that this “meeting later on” plan actually works out. If you’re happy with the person you’re with, the thoughts of being with others shouldn’t matter. Who cares what people say or what people think? Who cares what “your number” is? Who cares if you’ve only been in love once? Quite frankly, if you have been in love once, you’re pretty damn lucky. So if you are in love and you’re not hitting any roadblocks, don’t let anything get in your way.

However, if you are having second thoughts…get out of there.

My advice

Don't plan too far ahead. Prince Charming will come eventually for you single (or about to be single ones)...and before he does, live a little.

As for Jay, he had to take my advice by learning the hard way. I can tell he still misses his ex, but he's open to finally starting to meet new people. We started talking again...but just as friends.

GABANNA

Platonic Snuggles

Fact: girls like snuggling.

Fact: boys …not so much.

As luck would have it, one random trip back to our old college led to me finding an excellent snuggle buddy. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

Once upon a time Dolce and I were trying to figure out something to do on the upcoming weekend. Both discovering that we had off of work that weekend, we decided to make a spontaneous trip to our old school. We made a few phone calls, packed up the car, and got the hell off of Long Island.

Friday night at our school is known for one thing: happy hour. Luckily for us, we arrived just in time. Dropping our stuff at Dolce’s sister’s dorm, we changed quickly and headed to the bars to stock up on some cheap pitchers. Nearly bursting with excitement, we ran into the bar and immediately found our old friends Pete and Joe-Joe.

Needless to say, they were delighted that their favorite party girls had come to spend the weekend. We proceeded to take advantage of the amazing deal on cheap beer, and spent several hours playing ridiculous games and taking pictures (what else do you do at happy hour?)

Once happy hour was over Joe-Joe invited us to go back to his place and drink more before hitting up the bars again later that night. After making a pit stop at the gas station to stock up on beer and Doritos, we headed over to his place. Once inside, we met his roomie Mitch. He was a sophomore who wasn’t going out that night because he had homework. (I know right? Pathetic.) Naturally, Dolce and I got on his case and convinced him to pregame with us.

Twenty minutes later we were playing our new favorite drinking game. We turned on Anchorman (our fave movie) and had to drink anytime they said 4 specific words, which I obviously don’t remember. 


Around midnight Dolce and I decided we were ready to hit up the bar, where our good friend Hannah was bartending. The boys stayed back and continued to pregame and told us they would meet with us later.

We skipped off to the bar and met up with Hannah and some other friends, and Dolce immediately went off with one of the guys she met last time she visited, Andrew. After a while of hanging with the guys we decided to hit up another bar, not even thinking that I was leaving Dolce behind. As I was crossing the street I hear her yelling my name and see her running toward me with Andrew.

 “We’re leaving,” she told me. “You good?”

“Yup! Text me so I know you’re alive!” We said our goodbyes and I headed back to the bar to find the guys. Once I got in, Joe-Joe announced he was leaving, and Pete told me to go stay with him and he would meet us later. We walked back to his apartment and Mitch came out to give me pillows and blankets for the couch I was crashing on.

As the boys were saying goodnight I decided that I didn’t want to sleep alone. “Can I platonically snuggle with one of you?”

They both just stared at me. “Pleaseeeee, what if I get cold and where is Pete gonna sleep when he comes home and please I just wanna snuggle please please pleaseeeee?” I drunkenly ranted.

Laughing, Joe-Joe said that he had a girlfriend who wouldn’t be too happy if we snuggled, and we both turned to Mitch.

“I guess…”

“YAY!” I yelled as I pranced into his room. “I’m also going to need pajamas. I can’t sleep in my skirt!” Being the chivalrous gentleman that he was, he handed me a pair of sweatpants as I walked into the kitchen to change. (Where else would I go? After the way this night is going would you expect anything else?)

I hopped back into the bed and was never snuggled so well in my life. Unfortunately, it was cut short at 7am when I woke up out of a dead sleep to Dolce calling me. “Let me in bitch!”

I opened the door and she laughed at how ridiculous I looked in my borrowed clothes, and we walked back to Mitch’s room. “He’s an excellent snuggler,” I said as I climbed back into bed.

“Can I have some sweatpants?” Dolce asked. “I can’t sleep in my dress.”

He groaned and pointed in the direction of the sweatpants, which she put on and climbed into bed with us. He was clearly surprised when we both put our heads on his chest and proceeded to talk about our nights. After a while we felt bad about waking him up so early on a Saturday and left, still wearing his clothes. We walk of shamed though town (in front of children I might add. Their parents got them out of our path pretty quickly) and headed back to the dorms, and a few hours later I received a message: “Can I have my pants back?”

After some serious debate about whether or not we should give the clothes back, our conscious’ won and we dropped the clothes back on his front porch. I still regret giving those pants back; they were that comfortable.

The end.

Alright fine you caught me. We met up with Mitch, Joe-Joe and the boys Saturday night and wound up crashing at their house again. It was no longer a platonic snuggle, but a make-out snuggle sesh. This time I got to wear a neon yellow shirt that represented what a hick he was that I seriously debated stealing, but once again gave it back. I still think about the amazingness of that shirt…

The end. For real this time.

Rules of Platonic Snuggling:

-Give back clothes or else there is the potential of losing the platonic snuggler; they’re very protective of their clothes. As they should be-they’re so freaking comfortable.

-If you’re a good snuggler, you’ll get the clothes back. Maybe.

-Don’t kiss the platonic snuggler, because then it becomes a hook-up.

-Yes girls, there really are guys out there who do just want to snuggle. No, they’re not all gay.