Welcome to our Blog!

Hey Hey.

To start you off we each wrote a couple stories to give you a sneak peek of our shenanigans. Some stories will be sad, others hysterical, others flat out adorable. Each week you'll be getting something new whether its serious or silly. Some guys will stick around longer than others but you can be the judge if that was such a smart idea. Every "hump day" or Wednesday we'll have something new for you to read so follow away! Enjoy.

Love D&G

DOLCE

Sadly, I have to start you out with a more serious piece to give you a little slice of the 5 year relationship that got me writing in the first place. Dealing with a break-up? Here's some advice.

  Apply the Make-up...Get Over the Break-up

Break-ups. One of the hardest things to do and deal with. Things can be perfect in every other aspect in your life but when dealing with a break-up it can feel like your whole world is coming to an end. The strangest feeling is when that person who you spent a great deal of time with, was intimate with, laughed with, cried with, your best friend is, well, gone.

Believe me, I feel you. I broke up with my ex of 5 years last spring and I still feel the heartbreak. I've been dating here and there but it only seems to numb the pain for a limited amount of time. 

Meet Ryan: 24, sweetest most loving guy you will ever meet…Also, the most laziest, unmotivated guy you will ever meet.

Ryan and I spent every second together. I was there for every party, family gathering, funeral, you name it. I was a part of the family and spent as much time with his mom as I spent with my own. When I broke up with him I lost my best friend. It's crazy to think that someone that you could be so close to can just be out of your life.

Ryan got a new girlfriend. I know I'm a hypocrite and selfish if I admit to you that I'm angry and upset but it's the truth. Ryan wasn't the type of person to date around; he only has had serious relationships. So now to put salt on the wounds of the break-up: there's a new girl spending every second with him. Meeting the family, going out with our friends, kissing him...it all makes me sick. He's happy with someone new. As happy as I am for him, it hurts.

Sometimes when you look back at the past you can only remember the good times. Regardless of what happened or how much of an asshole they turned out to be, we like to remember the positive things. This can take us away from the reality of the situation. I think of how Ryan and I met, fell in love, went on vacation...completely forgetting the facts that he was always late, never had money, dropped out of school, and couldn't hold a job. An ex is an ex for a reason. If I got back together with him nothing would change. I thought breaking up with him would scare him into changing his ways but I was wrong. You can't change anyone.
 
So how do you cope? How do you move on?  
I'm still trying to figure this all out too, but this is what I've learned so far.

Talk about it.
Maybe you don't like to open up, but getting how you feel off your chest lifts a great amount of anxiety. Hearing yourself say it out loud helps. Talk to a parent or friend (they can't tell you to shut up) if you want the truth about your situation talk to a stranger or someone new. You're explaining the whole relationship to an outsider who can give you their own opinion without taking any sides.

Write about it.
You see me doing it here. This blog has helped me cope and grow as a person. When you write things down it all seems clearer. Jot down all the things that are going for you. Reading back all the great things you've accomplished is an awesome ego boost. Self-love is KEY...you can't love anyone else until you learn to love yourself.

Mourn.
It's good to cry it all out. Don't hold it in or you’re going to crack. Get it all out once and then try to be done with it. It sounds easier then it is but play the "Goodbye to You" Michelle Branch song and then pop in Andy Grammer's "Keep your Head Up" and you're gonna turn out fine.

Busy Busy Busy.
The best advice I was given was to keep busy. If you're swamped with things to do you won't have any time to think about it. Pick up some extra hours at work, start a new hobby, or play a sport (its helps blow off some steam).

You.
It's finally all about you. You don't have to worry or spend money on anyone else now. So with all this extra time and cash spend it on yourself. You're back on the market! This means:
- Finally use that gym membership you've been paying for every month.
- Do some shopping and buy some nice clothes. I bought some "date" dresses just because and they've all been used and made quite an impression.
- Spa Day. Massage, facial, new hairdo? I don't think I'll have to convince you on that one. New look means new you.
- Smile. Not only does it prevent wrinkles but when you pretend you’re happy you sometimes trick yourself into being happy. I used to smile while waitressing. Even though I hated being there, by the end of my shift I wasn't feeling too bad.

Future.
Plan out some things you want to do in the future. Whether it’s a job or a vacation you'll have something great to look forward to.

Get Out There!
- Make some new friends. Ryan and I had a lot of the same friends which can be hard.
- Put yourself out there and be more outgoing.
- Date! Sure dating made me realize how many assholes are out there but it also made me realize that I can have feelings for other people. Dating someone new is awesome. You get to talk about yourself and they treat you to dinner and movies (most of the time). 

Apply the make-up and embrace the break-up.  

Work on yourself. Once you can learn to be on your own everything else will fall into place. Good things always seem to come when you least expect it. 

GABANNA 

My background story.

“We Should Totally Stay Friends.” “No.”

My first boyfriend was Chris. We met during freshman year of college through some mutual friends. He had a girlfriend at the time, and honestly I thought he was kinda weird; deff not my type at all.  So we hung out and around Christmas he and his girlfriend broke up- it was mutual. We hung out a lot because of our friends and we also night-hosted together, so we would stay up guarding the dorms and talking. We started dating February of freshman year; after a short “break” at the 6 month mark, we finally broke up for good after a year.  He “loved me but wasn’t in love with me” and I was completely heartbroken. 

After the breakup I tried to stay friends with him. We had dated for a year, and he was my best friend. But I didn’t want to lose him completely, so I didn’t cut him out, even though a lot of people told me I should. We still talked a lot and went to the gym together, but it was always really difficult for me. 

He was already in the friend zone, and I was nowhere near that level. When I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore, he was upset and angry. He couldn’t understand why I was having such a hard time being around him: I didn’t want to be his friend. I wanted to be his girlfriend. Of course I wanted him to be happy, but it hurt me to see him happy so quickly after we had broken up. 

So I stopped talking to him. We were civil when we ran into each other, but other than that, we didn’t really talk for about a year. Around April of junior year he started texting me asking why we couldn’t be friends. After a lot of ignored texts and “leave me alone” messages on my part we finally agreed to meet. We grabbed lunch on campus and caught up on what we had missed over the past year. I won’t bore you with the details, but it went well and we continued to meet up once every few weeks for the rest of the semester. 

I never really got over him until I met my next boyfriend. He was my first love and I still think about him all the time. We keep in touch even though he’s on a different continent, and he’s still someone whose advice I seek when I have a problem. My point is, even though Chris and I are able to be friends now, I wasn’t able to handle it for a long time. My advice to you is take some time apart so you can get over the person, and then try meeting to see how it feels. I’m really happy that I’m able to have him back in my life, but it did take me a very long time to get to the friend zone. 

You know what’s best for you. You can try to be friends with them and see how it works out. Usually if the breakup is mutual you guys should be able to go to the friend zone without any problems. If you were the one who did the breaking-up, you need to respect if the other person in the relationship wants their space. I know its hard losing your best friend, but that’s why getting away from each other for a while is important.

GABANNA

No Photos Please

I’m very picky when it comes to guys, and I usually don’t like settling for something when I know it’s just going to be a waste of time. What can I say, I know what I like. Dolce however, likes to experience things, and had been nagging me to give someone a chance so they could “wine and dine me.” After much persuasion on her part (she never would have stopped if I didn’t agree), I told her I would start giving more people chances. 

Over December I agreed to help out my aunt by being a hostess at the catering hall where she was a receptionist. My job basically consisted of greeting guests and directing them to the room their event would be held in, all while freezing my butt off from standing by the door. Once the guests were all in the correct rooms, I would basically just hang out and get paid for it, so I didn’t complain. 

Early one morning while I was greeting guests I happened to notice one guy. Tall, pretty cute, dressed in all black. Turns out he was the DJ for the event, and took an immediate liking to me. He introduced himself as Rick, and immediately started talking about himself. (bad sign). I found out that he taught martial arts, was 28, had his own DJ company but gave it up because teaching was his passion. I also found out that he had 3 cups of coffee because he was out until 4am for a friend’s birthday, (but he doesn’t drink so he wasn’t nursing a hangover like I was). Now while I found all of this very interesting, he did not once ask me anything about myself, not even my name. Granted, I was wearing a nametag, but still. 

Another warning sign: he didn’t get my sarcasm. Since he taught martial arts I asked him if he could make me be like a power ranger (really girls, who didn’t want to be the pink ranger?) Instead of the witty answer I was expecting, I got a long explanation about how martial arts is serious and not at all like the power-rangers. So much for making a joke.

Throughout the party he would come out occasionally and try talk to me. My boss was very strict, and even though she was in her office I had to act busy. For example, if we were talking and she came out I would direct him to the bathroom or tell him that he could go smoke outside the front door. Right before he left he asked me for my number.  I had Dolce’s voice in my head saying “do ittttt,” so I gave it to him. The worst that could happen was a bad date.

The second I checked my phone I had a message from him “Hey, its Rick lol. Could you tell that I was trying to hit on you?” Of course I did. 

“Yeah I could tell haha”

“Oh really? Cool. I’m really attracted to you. You’re really cute.”

“Thanks.”

The rest of the day progressed with texts from him such as “you’re really cute : )” or “I’m really excited to take you out, you’re just so cute : )”.  Yeah, you mentioned that. It’s nice that you’re excited, but ask me some questions about myself.

We agreed to meet for coffee two days later when he was done working (I don’t drink coffee, which I did tell him, but apparently he was too busy noticing how cute I was). I wake up the next day to a “good morning cutie : )” text. We talk for a little, and then I get this: “Send me a pic.” What? New picture message: him shirtless. Caption: “Just took this after my morning workout. Send me one!”

After recovering from the initial shock of the message I sent it to Dolce. “No wayyyyy what a creep!” Now it’s not like I’m against pictures, just not with guys I met less than 24 hours ago who didn’t even bother trying to get to know me and just saw me as a cute face.  

I replied back that I didn’t send out my picture, and that I wanted to cancel our date. He wasn’t happy about it, and I had to explain to him that sending out pictures was just something I didn’t do, and if he had taken the time to get to know me, maybe he would’ve learned that.

What you should have learned from this:

-Don’t just talk about yourself when getting to know someone, make sure to ask questions about the other person. I’m sure you’re pretty fascinating, but it shows you’re interested in the other person when you ask about them.

-Don’t just tell a girl that she’s pretty. Of course it’s nice but if you keep saying it, it’s going to lose meaning. Talk about other things you like about her, such as her funny comments or her surprisingly good pool playing skills. Whatever you like about her let her know. She’ll most likely return the favor.

-I knew in my gut that we didn’t click right away. He didn’t understand my sense of humor, and that’s really important to me. I did give him a try, but I knew that it wasn’t going to go far. 

My point is: Physical attraction only goes so far, get to know a person before you look for something physical out of them. Trust your gut- if you don’t mesh well from the beginning, chances are you won’t be able to sort through your differences.

DOLCE

Always have a Friend Waiting in the Wings

A true friend will listen to you vent for hours on end, wipe away your tears from a broken heart, hold your hair back when you took too many Soco shots, and get you out of the worst of worst situations. Think Gabanna is awesome? She's done a lot for me throughout our friendship, but this is one of her "gold star" moments.

I was fairly new to my waitressing job and I guess I was already "shottied" by one of the guys I worked with.

Meet Nate: he was 21, lead singer of a band, and a little well...out there.

Having a past with "band" guys I should've known what I was in for but said eff it and agreed to a drink after work. We talked, well, he talked and it started getting a little odd. On a first date keep it general.

What are OK talking points?

- Where you go/went to school
- Your job
- Future plans/career goals
- Hobbies/sports
- Friends/mutual friends
- Music
- Pets
...keep it simple silly, if you're just meeting the person don't freak them out with your weird OCD things just yet.

Well Nate didn’t really have a filter. He went on about his family problems, his problems, his friends’ problems...and yea, it was all about problems. So why did I ever agree to see him again? He had great hair and was cute via text saying I was absolutely gorgeous (gets me and my insecurities every time). With that I agreed to go out with him and grab a drink a couple days later. I thought we were going to a bar or restaurant, turns out I wound up driving us to his house after work. 
 

We need Back-up!

Ugh, I knew this scenario...with my past experiences; I decided to call to Gabanna for back-up. 

"Hey, so Nate wants me to go over his house...this means I need you to get me out of there if he decides to pounce."
"Sure. Text me and I'll come up with some type of emergency to get you out of there. Good luck!"

It's always the same. They invite you over, you hang-out in their room, conveniently the only place to sit is on their bed, they make bs conversation for 5 minutes, and then they make their move. Nate was right on target with the conversation and 10 minutes in he tried to get me to lay back on the bed. As he got up to go to the bathroom I texted Gabanna.

"Call me in 5 minutes. I don't want to know what he'll try to do after that."

He came back, laid on the moves, and his lips were in no time pressed against mine. He was a little too into it and way too sloppy for my taste. All I kept thinking was "it's totally been 5 minutes." I guess we have ESP because my phone began to blow up. 

"Hey? Whats up...I'm kind of busy, is everything ok?"
"Heyyyyy..oh my god! It's meeee and I'm drunk and I don't know where I am. I need you nowwwww"

Gabanna, who was actually sober at home hanging with her dad, was pretending to be my sister...drunk. I had to hold myself back from laughing, but on the bright side Nate bought it.

"I thought you were at a friend’s house? I'm not really close, where are you?"
"I went with this guy and I think his name is Billy! But I drank a lot a lot and it was bad! But now I'm sitting on the ground like an Indian...like Indian style!"

She took the whole being drunk thing a little too far, but you have to keep character when trying to sneak out.
"Are you at a house? Where is it?"
"I'm at a house! It’s brown!"
"Well let me know where this brown house is and I'll come get you drunkie."

After apologizing to Nate about how I had to call it an early night his response was "well we still have time until your sister calls back with that address." Dammit. Is Gabanna really going to call me back with this fake address? I didn't really have much time to think because Nate already launched me across the room. Mid kiss I pulled out my phone and attempted to text "call me now" with one eye open. That ringtone was music to my ears.

"Hey so where are you? Are you in Smalltown?”
"I found a street sign and it says Maple! Like the tree!"
"So Maple in Smalltown?”
"I don't know, Billy knows! But I don't know where everyone went."

Just my luck Nate wanted to help. He starts searching the address in his phone to see where it was in Smalltown. Knowing Gabanna completely made this all up I knew I was screwed. But yes...There is a God and a Maple Ave in Smalltown I couldn't have bolted out of there any quicker. Regardless of the great hair and the compliments I do NOT like pouncers. You think he would've got the hint after I stopped returning his texts and invitations to "hang out." Nope. I actually had to tell him I was kind of seeing someone else (or 4 different people, which was true at the time)...He wasn't too happy about it but he never found out about my sister.

Moral of the story
- Say no to pouncers!
- Always have a plan B on a date (not the pill). What are friends good for if it’s not getting you out of bad situations?

- Keep character. Keeping a straight face is tough but when I started laughing on the phone I played it off saying "oh god she's so drunk."
- You can always be blunt and get out of your own situation, but sometimes it’s fun to be a little creative without hurting too many feelings.