GABANNA

All Talk and No Action

So you know how there are those quotes about how best friends can’t be mad at each other for more than 10 minutes because they’ll have too much to tell one another if they stay mad? Dolce and I’s friendship is stronger than that. We talk more than most normal couples do, even to just catch up on what happened in the past two hours since we talked last.  Recently on a double date we held hands with each other more than with our dates during the scary parts.

For all those douche bags out there that think they can hookup with best friends because they’re so close: you’re wrong. Dolce and I do not share. Here’s the story about what happened when the guy I was talking to thought he could get with both of us.

James was a bouncer at one of our Friday night spots. He was tall, good looking, and totally full of himself as I would later find out.

One night Dolce and I took a cab to meet some friends at the bar that James works at. I walked up to James first since Dolce was taking her time getting out of the car. He told me that he knew me and that I didn’t have to show my ID to him. I smiled and said thanks and then told him to give Dolce a hard time.

“I got this,” he told me as she walked up to him and held out her ID.

“Do you have a second form of ID?” 

“Really!?” she yelled as she dug around in her purse for her credit card.

“Nope, no this isn’t good, do you have your library card with you?”

“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A LIBRARY CARD!” she yelled back. Meanwhile I was dying laughing a few feet away with another bouncer. James told her he was just kidding and walked us inside and told the girl collecting money that we didn’t have to pay cover. Sweetttt.

Dolce and I found our friend Diana, who asked us how we knew James. I told her that we met him here and she told me that she had class with him and that he was a tool. Thinking nothing of it I brushed it aside and would go talk to him every once in a while and at the end of the night I got his number

We texted everyday for the next couple of weeks and he asked to take me out but were never around at the same time to actually do something. He worked all day at a camp and I usually worked nights so the only time we saw one another was when he was bouncing. He also had a beach house on the water that he invited me to go to, but I was never able to go. 

Word on the street was he had a girlfriend but according to Facebook he was single. Since I was already talking to Chuck and a few other people I brushed it off and thought “as long as I keep getting into the bar for free I don’t care who he’s dating.” We had never gone out or even kissed in the few weeks we had been talking.

Ho’s Before Bro’s

One Saturday night Dolce called me begging me to go out, but I was going to Boardy Barn the next day and had to save my strength. (For those of you who don’t know, Boardy Barn is an all day drinking party under a tent. So awesome.) So off she went with some friends and who does she bump into but James.

“Hey…do I know you?” he asked.

“Yeah you’re talking to Gabanna! I’m Dolce, remember? You asked me for my library card. Gabanna’s not out tonight because she’s being a loser; you should tell her she’s being lame.” (such a sweetheart). He did text me while they were together but I was half asleep answering him and finally passed out.

They started dancing and talking as friends until he started trying to get close. James kept grabbing her waist and trying to kiss her while Dolce kept dodging his attempts.

“You should come home with me,” James slurred, “don’t take the ferry back my house is so close just stay.”

“Do you really think I’m like that?!” she yelled. “Gabanna is my best friend. Gross, no! Buh bye.” And out the door she ran to immediately call me to tell me what a douche he was.

He attempted to text me a few times after that night, but I was short with him or ignored him and he finally gave up.

Moral of the Story

-Don’t try to get with friends. True friends won’t stab one another in the back for a hookup with a tool.

-Listen to people when they try to tell you what a douche a guy is. They might know what they’re talking about. Luckily for me I wasn’t attached to James so I didn’t care when we stopped talking. I do miss going to the bar that he worked at though. Haven’t been there in a while, but hopefully he will still let me in for free when I go…