GABANNA

A Need to be Wowed

Isabelle had been in a relationship with TJ for nearly ten years. This past fall they were planning on getting married, but at the last minute she called off the wedding. Why would she do this after ten years of dating the same guy?

“He never wowed me. I deserve to be wowed,” was her explanation.

This week’s blog is about not settling for something less than you deserve. Isabelle and TJ had been on and off for a while; she told him she wouldn’t be with him unless he lost weight, went hiking and learned how to drive a boat. Surprisingly, he did them and she took him back. While they were apart though she had joined a dating site and was seeing other people, unbeknownst to him. She was content with him, while he was head over heels for her and would clearly do anything to stay in the relationship.

My Story:

A few years back I was dating this guy Jimmy. I’m not really serious when I say that I dated him, because I was with other people when I was with him, but he considered us to be a couple/exclusive. He was a year younger than me, and a total meathead. Jimmy went to the gym every day, twice a day. Throughout the summer we were “dating” I was constantly trying to figure out if I liked him or not.

Note: this should have tipped me off right away to the fact that I did not like him. If you like someone you usually just know, you don’t need to think about it.

Here are some of the things that turned me off to him:

-For our first date we went to IHOP. Now, I love pancakes as much as the next person, but for a first date? Keep it classy guys, take us somewhere nice for our first time out. Also something that turned me off: he didn’t tip our waiter. That’s a HUGE deal to me.

-Dolce and her boyfriend at the time invited us to the beach once. After arriving at the beach around 1pm Jimmy told us that he had to be back home by 3 because he needed to get his hair cut. REALLY?! Why would you even go to the beach in the first place if you knew you had something to do? It showed how selfish he was because he didn’t care that we just got there, and that he was ruining our afternoon by making us leave.

-He talked about the gym. ALL THE TIME. Every single thing he did at the gym he would describe to me in great detail. Dude, I don’t care. I really have no interest in what you do for hours on end at the gym. I was sitting on my couch watching TV and being a bum.

-A bunch of us decided to go to the movies one night. He told me that he was going to pay for me “because I was so f****** hot.” Now I know what you’re thinking: this kid is a douche. Yup. This is pretty much when I decided that Jimmy was starting to get under my skin.

-While I was away at school he was telling other people that we were dating. Meanwhile, he would never text me or try to come visit me unless it was convenient for him (such as when he was on his way home from visiting his friends, he would decide to stop by for an hour or so). And whenever I came home for a weekend I was expected to make time to hang out with him. Nah brah, the phone works both ways.

The Final Straw:

Amber and I were at a party at his house one night over winter break. I hadn’t seen my friends almost all semester, and was talking to a lot of them. Jokingly, a few of us decided to play spin the bottle, and I ended up in a room with one of my friends. We moved the bed up and down and made noises, which apparently set Jimmy off. When we came out of the room Jimmy was gone and one of his friends told me that he was really angry with me for “disrespecting him in his own house.” When I tried to talk to him about it and tell him that we were just kidding he told me that he couldn’t talk to me and wanted me to go. I think that it surprised him when I got angry and left. The kid barely gave me the time of day and then would get mad at me for flirting too much with my friends. The rest of my break he would call me and try to hang out, and I would make excuses about why I couldn’t.

            In retaliation for him being a douche, I hooked up with one of his friends the night after the party. Now I probably should not have done that, but who really cares? It was fun, and Jimmy never found out.

Moral of the Story:

-If he takes you to IHOP, he’s not trying

-If he tells you that he’s only paying because you’re hot, then it means he’s a douche

-Everyone deserves to be wowed; don’t settle for anything less than a gourmet meal on the first date

Don’t give your ex or old hook-up a list of things to change. Like with Jimmy I realized what I didn’t like and cut the ties. People don’t change and you shouldn’t have to change someone you want to be with. Yea it may suck that you don’t have a regular hook-up but just make-out with their best friend if you’re feeling saucy and move on.