DOLCE

The Destroyer

Last week you read about the disaster date on the army base when I was visiting Seth.

I don’t want to drag on Seth’s story anymore then our somewhat relationship was dragged on for so today I’m going to tell you about the rest of my trip down in Georgia. Warning: it’s not pretty.

Before this dinner, which resulted in me dropping some serious cash, things were going well. I got invited to see him get promoted to Sergeant, which was incredible and not as hardcore like they make it seem in the movies. I sat there and acted proud until his boss asked him if  “his wife” would like to take some pictures. No thanks bro.

The next morning he had this “surprise” set up for me for my birthday because it was 3 days away. He amped it up like it was going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread. I had no idea what I was in for but after the news of no military ball I had to be excited for something. That morning I woke up and hopped in his cherry red pick-up truck and off to our secret destination. Scared thinking he was going to make me jump out of a helicopter or something (I was on an army base what else would I think?) resulted into him pulling up to a salon.

“We’re getting couples massages.”

Score. I had a huge grin on my face and grabbed his hand thinking “thank the freaking lord.” That was until…the place was closed.

Turns out the place closed because the one girl that ran the place got poison ivy and shut it down. Why didn’t they get anyone to cover her? Because there were no appointments written down. Oh, and they usually don’t do couples massages. Why do I know this? Because I was on the phone with the owner for a half an hour while Seth bitched that he made the appointment and he better get something free out of this. Yea, I never got that massage.

That night was the dinner he made reservations for, where as you all read from last week, didn’t go too well. But it was the last night and I was determined to have a good time. I was enjoying just being around him but wanted to actually do something. He promised we’d go party in town that night but that we should pregame first in his room. He picked up a bottle of Jager and some Redbull and we headed back to the barracks.

I wanted to have a little too much fun on the last night and decided to make our Jager-bombs a little stronger than usual.

It’s All Fun and Games ‘til Someone gets Hurt.

Seth played the drums for me as I kept feeding us shots. I was finally enjoying myself and thought damn, I’m kind of mad I have to leave in the morning. Seth was rocking out until he decided it was go time.

Go time you ask? He decided to strip down to his “skivvies” and charge at me with his hands up in the air screaming,

“I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!”

Normally you think a girl would be turned on by this statement, but me, not so much. Well I’ll tell you what he did destroy that night…the toilet. Yea I really got down and dirty that night. Unfortunately it was because I spent the night cleaning the bathroom, dressing him, and staying up making sure he didn’t puke in his sleep. Romance at its finest.

I couldn’t have got on that plane any faster. When I flew over NYC I thought to myself, I’m never leaving this place ever again.

Back Home.

Two days later it was my birthday. Seth never called. Thankfully JP was around to take me out to the zoo and dinner. Always have a back-up ladies.

So what happened to Seth? Well we talked a little after the trip but when he came home for leave the sweet guy I thought I knew wasn’t there. My friend gave him a nasty look at the bar one night and his friend flipped out starting a fight. When I went over to apologize he told me to “get the eff away you effin c*nt.”

Let’s just say I nearly destroyed his face after that statement.

But in the end he won because he got the ultimate revenge…he deleted me off Facebook. Classy move sir.

Maybe he found out about JP, maybe he found a new girl to wife up, or maybe he was just bi-polar. I don’t know. It's ironic how many things he really did destroy. I still do miss the good times we did have together because all in all he was (at least at first) a great guy…but thank god that’s over.

Moral of the Story:

-     - Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I should’ve known after my first trip down to end what we had but I didn’t. Don’t make my mistake.

-     - Listen to the warning sings. If things aren’t going well, don’t keep trying thinking things will get better.

-    -  Hearing “I’m going to destroy you” is not sexy.

-    -  Have a good ratio of Jager and Redbull when doing Jager-bombs.

-    - You can drive a car or take a train to see a guy…don’t fly.

-    - Always have a back up. (If you’re not in an official relationship, no cheating!)

-    - Never EVER let anyone call you a c*nt or curse at you for that matter. If they do? Don’t let them get away with it. If you don’t speak up it shows they can call you whatever they want. 
      
     Good Luck.