GABANNA

Pick Me Up!

Want to learn how to approach a girl? Here’s a few of the best and worst pickup lines Dolce and I have encountered through our online dating experience.

After Dolce’s breakup this summer with Ryan one of her friends Kim encouraged her to join an online dating site. She promised that it was totally normal and not creepy at all. (Pretty normal, veryyyy creepy). Naturally I arrived at her house to go to the beach and I had an account all set up for me. What are friends for?

Now, neither of us are really serious about meeting someone online but we did it for the experience and for meeting new people. And for the compliments (what, you don’t love an ego boost?)

There are a few things that I’ve noticed from my inbox. Everyone always says “Hey you’re really cute and I love your profile.”

Okay, that’s great and all, but what do you like about it? Is it my love of Anchorman? The fact that I want you to message me if you will give me a piggy back ride? Tell me what you like so I know you weren’t just staring at my pictures like a creeper.

Grab my attention

The best pickup line happened when I was a sophomore. I was at the bar with my old roommate and one guy approached me and asked, “Should I get my haircut like Vanilla Ice’s?”

I kid you not people. After staring at him for a few seconds I started talking to him about his potential new haircut. We discussed the pros and cons, and ended up talking for half an hour about other things besides his new haircut.

My point is, don’t just come up and offer me a drink. Chances are I’m going to take it and walk away because you can’t hold my attention long enough for me to stick around.

Ask me something intriguing. Don’t tell me I look hot. You’ve said that to a million girls already. Be original.
 

Interesting/fun pick-up lines:

“Did you fall from heaven…because you have a great ass.” -I found this really amusing.

“You look like Spice Girl.” -It better not be Scary Spice dude.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, and I wanna get you pregnant.”- Thank you Jenna Marbles.

Even just a great compliment works.

The key to these pickup lines was that they made me laugh and have a conversation with the guy who was trying to pick me up.

Not so good pick-up lines:

“I was wiffle-ball champion once, no big deal”- Don’t care dude. Ask me about myself.

“Girllll, you should sell hot dogs, dayummmm” – Wtf does that even mean!?

“I had a sex dream about you last night.”- Awkward turtle.

“How are you so hot? And who is your friend- my god!”- No way dude. No threesomes for you.

If you want to meet a classy girl DO NOT ask them these things:

“Spit or swallow?”

“I want to lick your p****”

Now I know what you’re thinking- REALLY?!

Yes really. I did receive these lovely messages and after replying with some sarcastic and witty comments I wondered what it is about myself that made these people message me that.

And I came up with this: they’re douche bags. If a random person said that to you and you have any self-respect at all you will either be a total bitch back or throw your drink in his face. Either option is perfectly acceptable. If this had happened to me in person I totally would’ve poured a drink on them.

Respect us.

Of course we like to go out and have fun, but seriously guys, think with your head and not your dick. Not every girl at the bar is DTF.

So remember: when you’re looking to meet a classy girl, show her that you’re interested. If you try to buy her attention you’ll end up with nothing but an empty wallet and your right hand.