GABANNA 

Off The Wagon

I had already known JP from hanging with his group of friends for so long, but we were never really close until he started talking to Dolce.

“You should come visit the Naval Academy.”

“Not third wheeling it dude.”

“I have a guy for you. He’s taller and better looking than I am.”

“Alright, you’ve twisted my arm.”

So off we went.  We were supposed to meet JP and his friends around 9, so naturally we got there early to pregame for pregaming with the guys to go out. 

We found a random bar with awesome deals on pitchers, and it had the game on for Dolce the Tomboy. Two pitchers later the boys arrived, and we were introduced to Jeremy, Matty and Bear. JP nudges me and says “ya welcome.”  Not gonna lie, Jeremy was pretty hot. Dumb as a rock, as I would later find out, but definitely hot. And also very shy. Being a smart brunette, I knew how to get him to open up. Yup, you guessed it. “You need more beer!”

Once we were all good and drunk, (except for our DD, gotta be responsible) we piled into the car and headed for the next bar. After several hours of dancing and no action, I turned to Jeremy and demanded “Are you gonna kiss me or what?!” And he did. Winning.

Around 3am we decided it was time to head back to the school. As we were getting close JP turns to us and says, “So, uh, no guests are allowed inside at night…you guys are going to have to go into the trunk.” Dolce and I laughed, and then saw the looks on the guy’s faces.

“Seriously?” Seriously. We crawled over the backseat and hid under some sandy towels, and naturally proceeded to have a photoshoot as we were snuck through the front gate.

After we climbed out of the trunk we went on a little adventure. JP and Jeremy decided to go through the freshie dorms and wake everyone up. Naturally, I followed while Dolce stayed in the courtyard to make a phone call. The three of us ran through the dorms, banging on doors and yelling for everyone to get into formation. I turned around to see 3 guys standing there, asking what uniform they should be in. I yelled back “You know what you should be wearing!” and continued running.

You should all know that I was wearing a tube top and little white shorts. Who in their right mind would think that I was really a drill sergeant demanding that everyone get into formation at 4am? Regardless, they continued following me and questioning me until I ran out of the building and into the courtyard where Dolce and the boys stood waiting for me.
“GO GO GO, THEY’RE FOLLOWING ME!”

“I think you lost them,” Jeremy said as I turned around and saw that the freshies were safely inside of their building and not out to get me for my lovely 4am wake up call. We continued our walk back to the boys dorm without any more “Hitler Rampages”, as it would later be called.

Now, previously in the night I remember Jeremy saying that he was Matty’s roommate. Once we got into the dorm Matty went off and Dolce began saying how great it was that JP and Jeremy were roomies. I started to interrupt that they were not roommates when JP cut me off.

“No Gabanna, of course this is my room. There’s even little surf boards on my sheets. Clearly they’re mine.”

“That makes so much sense!” Oh my little blonde Dolce.

We all climb into our beds and immediately pass out. I wake up the next morning to Jeremy being a good student and going to formation. Dolce immediately crawled into bed with me in her newly acquired soccer t-shirt and we laugh about what happened the previous night. JP groans and throws pillows at us until Dolce goes back to cuddle with him, and Jeremy soon comes back and climbs into bed with me again. An hour later we are all woken up (again) to Jeremy being a good student (again) and going to class.

Unfortunately for JP, this time we were up for good and demanding him to take us to get breakfast. JP says he won’t take us to breakfast unless we’re in uniform, so naturally we get dressed up and document our silliness. We change back into our huge t-shirts and Matty walks in. “Hey! That’s my shirt!”

“What?!” Dolce yells! “Who’s bed did I sleep in!”

“I told yo-” 

BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!

You guessed it: off goes the fire alarm. Naturally Dolce and I start scrambling to grab our stuff and run out of the room. “HEY! Give me back my shirt!!”

Oh those shirts. They were so big you couldn’t even see our shorts underneath.  And we totally stood out in the sea of men in uniform. We immediately throw our sunglasses on and start walking away from the building to the direction of the car.

Yup. Best walk of shame ever. (For now)