DOLCE

Always have a Friend Waiting in the Wings

A true friend will listen to you vent for hours on end, wipe away your tears from a broken heart, hold your hair back when you took too many Soco shots, and get you out of the worst of worst situations. Think Gabanna is awesome? She's done a lot for me throughout our friendship, but this is one of her "gold star" moments.

I was fairly new to my waitressing job and I guess I was already "shottied" by one of the guys I worked with.

Meet Nate: he was 21, lead singer of a band, and a little well...out there.

Having a past with "band" guys I should've known what I was in for but said eff it and agreed to a drink after work. We talked, well, he talked and it started getting a little odd. On a first date keep it general.

What are OK talking points?

- Where you go/went to school
- Your job
- Future plans/career goals
- Hobbies/sports
- Friends/mutual friends
- Music
- Pets
...keep it simple silly, if you're just meeting the person don't freak them out with your weird OCD things just yet.

Well Nate didn’t really have a filter. He went on about his family problems, his problems, his friends’ problems...and yea, it was all about problems. So why did I ever agree to see him again? He had great hair and was cute via text saying I was absolutely gorgeous (gets me and my insecurities every time). With that I agreed to go out with him and grab a drink a couple days later. I thought we were going to a bar or restaurant, turns out I wound up driving us to his house after work. 
 

We need Back-up!

Ugh, I knew this scenario...with my past experiences; I decided to call to Gabanna for back-up. 

"Hey, so Nate wants me to go over his house...this means I need you to get me out of there if he decides to pounce."
"Sure. Text me and I'll come up with some type of emergency to get you out of there. Good luck!"

It's always the same. They invite you over, you hang-out in their room, conveniently the only place to sit is on their bed, they make bs conversation for 5 minutes, and then they make their move. Nate was right on target with the conversation and 10 minutes in he tried to get me to lay back on the bed. As he got up to go to the bathroom I texted Gabanna.

"Call me in 5 minutes. I don't want to know what he'll try to do after that."

He came back, laid on the moves, and his lips were in no time pressed against mine. He was a little too into it and way too sloppy for my taste. All I kept thinking was "it's totally been 5 minutes." I guess we have ESP because my phone began to blow up. 

"Hey? Whats up...I'm kind of busy, is everything ok?"
"Heyyyyy..oh my god! It's meeee and I'm drunk and I don't know where I am. I need you nowwwww"

Gabanna, who was actually sober at home hanging with her dad, was pretending to be my sister...drunk. I had to hold myself back from laughing, but on the bright side Nate bought it.

"I thought you were at a friend’s house? I'm not really close, where are you?"
"I went with this guy and I think his name is Billy! But I drank a lot a lot and it was bad! But now I'm sitting on the ground like an Indian...like Indian style!"

She took the whole being drunk thing a little too far, but you have to keep character when trying to sneak out.
"Are you at a house? Where is it?"
"I'm at a house! It’s brown!"
"Well let me know where this brown house is and I'll come get you drunkie."

After apologizing to Nate about how I had to call it an early night his response was "well we still have time until your sister calls back with that address." Dammit. Is Gabanna really going to call me back with this fake address? I didn't really have much time to think because Nate already launched me across the room. Mid kiss I pulled out my phone and attempted to text "call me now" with one eye open. That ringtone was music to my ears.

"Hey so where are you? Are you in Smalltown?”
"I found a street sign and it says Maple! Like the tree!"
"So Maple in Smalltown?”
"I don't know, Billy knows! But I don't know where everyone went."

Just my luck Nate wanted to help. He starts searching the address in his phone to see where it was in Smalltown. Knowing Gabanna completely made this all up I knew I was screwed. But yes...There is a God and a Maple Ave in Smalltown I couldn't have bolted out of there any quicker. Regardless of the great hair and the compliments I do NOT like pouncers. You think he would've got the hint after I stopped returning his texts and invitations to "hang out." Nope. I actually had to tell him I was kind of seeing someone else (or 4 different people, which was true at the time)...He wasn't too happy about it but he never found out about my sister.

Moral of the story
- Say no to pouncers!
- Always have a plan B on a date (not the pill). What are friends good for if it’s not getting you out of bad situations?

- Keep character. Keeping a straight face is tough but when I started laughing on the phone I played it off saying "oh god she's so drunk."
- You can always be blunt and get out of your own situation, but sometimes it’s fun to be a little creative without hurting too many feelings.